“Tree Hugger, Toy Negotiator, and Other Encounters With the Mentally Unwell”
- Dawson Schmidt
- Nov 29, 2025
- 4 min read
By a guy who once watched a person fall out of a tree like a Looney Tunes character and lived to tell the tale
In this line of work, you meet a lot of people.Some good.Some bad.Some who need help.And some who are, in the most respectful clinical way possible, mentally unwell with a side of pure chaos.
Here are two encounters burned into my brain forever — and trust me, no academy instructor could prepare you for this level of psychological whiplash.
1. The Tree Hugger Who Tried to Fly
I was still a rookie in FTO, paired with a SWAT operator whose personality was 90% intimidation, 10% dark humor, and 0% patience for rookie stupidity.
We’re driving around when a call comes out:
“Suspicious person. Caller states a male climbed up a tree and won’t come down.”
Cool.Easy.Some guy three feet off the ground on a decorative maple, right?
Wrong.
Very wrong.
A minute later the dispatched officer radios in:
“Uh… yeah. I’ve got someone in the tree.They might be 40 to 50 feet up.”
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